Am I a Mutant?

Sassy's slave said that I look like the wiener dog of cats... She said my tail is too little, my legs too short and my body stretched out and too big. What the hell! I've always known I was gorgeous, everyone that comes here says I am. Now I am having doubts. What if they say that to be nice, like they do for ugly human babies?

The slave has made several comments about the light hairs I am getting on my face--she keeps asking if I am getting old. She calls them my "freckles."

Other people have commented on my weight lately. Am I not as beautiful as I once was? Am I past my prime? What ever will I do?
~Mashed Potato~