In Honor of Valentine's Day...

I'm proposing that we have a little contest. A contest to determine who is more attractive to the masses...

First Contestant: the purebred Siamese to your left
<---- Not to skew the results or anything, but aren't those ears a bit large for the rest of him? Doesn't it look like he is wearing his ass as a hat? What was it that Ralph from the Simpsons called it... "a pointy-kitty"? Oh wait, he was referring to a rat--but I bet he would see the similarity here. And is it just me or does he look like he would be one miserable little jerk? Evil-looking, don't you think?
Second Contestant: As a Siamese/Himalayan mix, I have the most attractive traits and the superb personality of both breeds. I'm sure that as I become increasingly famous and more people gaze upon my beauty, the Siamalayan will become a breed in its own right--just as Schnoodles and Cockapoos have become preferable within the dog world. In fact, they are known as Designer Dogs and cost much more than the originals.

Just look at those beautiful baby blue eyes, the fluffy coat, the spectacularly-shaped face and head, that angelic beauty, the intelligence behind the gaze...

Again, not to skew the votes, but the bowlegged, spider monkey looking creature verses the original Designer Cat, the true princess... Ha! Like votes are really even required!

~Mashed Potato~

*SHUDDERS*

A wise kitty once stated:

"When it becomes possible for weasels to recognize the evilness amongst themselves and their brothers, a day of reckoning shall fall upon us all and the world will tremble."

I already tremble due to their evilness...

~Mashed Potato~

In a State of Depression

So anyhoo, she finally named that thing she brought home. Anubis. WTF? He gets named after an Egyptian God—I get named after a tuber? What gives?

I hate him. If I go anywhere near the slave, he gets between us. If the slave so much as talks to me, he’s dashing over to steal her affections. When I make the slave massage my beautiful self, he comes making a horrible racket and pushes me away so that he can be massaged instead! I saunter away, giving the slave the opportunity to follow me and prove that she loves me more and what happens? She laughs and gives him my stolen attention!

I haven’t been brushed in months. I’ve vomiting hairballs on a regular basis now. I know that it is the stress making me lose my hair. I’m sure that she is secretly brushing him instead. I’ve found his hair in places it shouldn’t be.

I can’t eat my morning snack without him stealing it. He’s wretched. If he thinks he is the only one with wet food, he eats it slow to torment me. As soon as he sees my plate touch the floor, he wolfs down everything on his plate and then comes over and eats what I have. I am a dainty eater! I must take my time and savor my food so as not to get indigestion or worse…

I growl. I snarl. I swat his head into the floor. I push him down and attack him. Yet he taunts me with this horrible purring to make the slave believe that I am the bad one. What have I done to deserve this?

And not that I like the humans that come to the house, but at least before, they made attempts to befriend me. Now it is all “Where’s the new cat? I want to see the new cat.” I can’t take much more. Even the Godmommy asks to see him. Sure, she puts on a show that she is here to see me, but don’t think that I don’t notice her waiting and wanting him to come to her. And she ALWAYS gets me Christmas presents. Not this year. I’m pretty sure the bony little jerk stole my Christmas presents too!

You want a name for him? How about Dirty Thief!

Yeah, the God of the Dead verses a lousy, lumpy, bland side dish that must be covered with condiments in order for it to even be edible…. There really is no justice in life.