The Anger of Success

As most of you know, I’ve been spending the past three months trying to catch the boxed bugs. I meow at them, bat at them, push the boxes around and think of the fun I would have chasing them.

So I finally did it! No more invisible barrier and I got them down to my level. The bugs were jumping around like crazy and the big bitey thing seemed to be in some kind of daze. Score!

It woke her up though and she was REALLY mad! I’ve pissed her off before, but never like this! I was still trying to get the bugs and she chased me away, plus she got the water spraying thing after me. I was forced to hide in my other bedroom until she finally left.

Then, to make matters worse, she put up more of that sticky stuff (like she has been using in the kitchen in an attempt to keep me from getting to the three blind mice and the other things on the shelves). That stuff is nasty! It covers me and rips out my fur—why does she do that???

Then, to make matters even more horrible, I found this new list:

A FEW REASONS THAT THE TARANTULAS MAKE BETTER PETS THAN MASH DOES:
A) Don’t trash the house while I’m sleeping
B) Don’t send big white hair balls/tumbleweeds floating about
C) Don’t need sitters when on vacation
D) Don’t have stinky breath
E) Don’t destroy or lose my things
F) Don’t get hair in my food
G) Don’t beat upon the ferrets
H) Don’t puke up hairballs or half-eaten food
I) Don’t get jealous of other pets
J) Don’t need brushed or ears cleaned
K) Don’t eat string or other weird things
L) Don’t chew up my papers or books
M) Don’t need treats or toys
N) Don’t follow me around meowing
O) Don’t get on the tables and counters
P) No litter boxes
Q) No flying poop
R) No duct tape to keep them out of areas
S) No vet bills
T) No princess complexes
U) No random attacks
V) Easy to care for
W) Can catch and kill bugs
X) Only cost $1/month to care for
Y) Not allergic to them
Z) Still soft and fuzzy

So what is that all about? Yes, I want to live somewhere other than here—but I want to make that choice and I want her to feel bad and miss me! I want her to know that she screwed up and that is why I left. It wouldn’t have the same pleasure if she forced me to go!
~Mashed Potato~