What is NOT to Understand?

I howled and threw a fit. She followed me into my room, but she wouldn't stay and watch me eat. So I had to keep following her back out into the kitchen and leading her again. You guys can sympathize right? I expect her to stand and watch me--why doesn't SHE get it???
~Mashed Potato~

Busted!

I had devised a plan so clever, so ingenious, that it actually took her weeks to catch on. She lets the weasels out and then she heads to the kitchen to do paperwork and bills--the weasels, being the little egg-suckers that they are, would always run right along at her feet into the kitchen with her.

Well, we invented a little game. "Prisoner of War" (which I despise!) is what gave me the idea--this one is called "The Gatekeeper." I sit behind the curtain into the hallway and as they try to leave the livingroom, they are forced into a sudden attack. Sleepy and dopey, they forget every time and it scares them enough that they don't fight back.

Now that she knows, I'm going to lay low for a couple of days and pretend it was a one time occurrence. And when she has forgotten--revenge will be mine!
~Mashed Potato~

No Presents?

Tuesday was my two year anniversary of living with the slave and usually she would have celebrated my third birthday then also. Nothing. She sat on me and cleaned my ears--but I hardly consider that to be a pleasant activity. I clearly heard her call Dar today and wish her a happy birthday--why nothing for me?

Wednesday morning, she awoke to find I had taken Goat Guy down and mangled him somewhat. This morning, it was the dragonfly off her computer shelf. Perhaps she is learning; she did follow me and brush me as I requested. Plus I decided that my bed no longer reeks of ferrets and I hung out in there most of the morning. When they were out, she kept them away from my bed and didn't let them bother me. But then again, she did yell and chase me when I attacked Banter (like he can't take it)--so who knows.

Maybe she figures that I am too old for a big fuss. You would think though that I could have at least had some cat nip or a bed time treat. She is so unfair sometimes. I bet it is because the ferrets are hogging all of her time. They've been so bad. The night before my birthday, Banter kept trying to knock her photo albums into our water fountain--while he was distracting her with that, Winzig was dragging the bag of kitty litter the whole length of the livingroom while the others rolled in it and spread it around. You know, come to think of it--I bet they have been doing all of this to keep her busy and make her forget about me. Stupid weasels. It's just one more reason to hate them.
~Mashed Potato~

I Am Beautiful!

She created a new blog (http://picturepages6969.blogspot.com/) and you can also find it under my first link, "Very Beautiful Pictures of Me." Unfortunately, she felt it was necessary to add photos other than just mine--so you'll need to look for the album specifically dedicated to me. She also had the nerve to add one dedicated to myself AND the weasels. Clearly you will see how horrible they are and how I am forced to live. It really is repulsive. But it does also show how much more attractive I am than them...
~Mashed Potato~

Grouchy, Grouchy, Grouchy!

The weasels were out ALL NIGHT. She was so mad when she woke up and saw what they did. She kept yelling that she didn't know why she lets any of the dirty, nasty, little things live here--let alone six of them (MY point exactly). And then she yelled at me! I just wanted my wet food; if I don't follow her around making a lot of noise, she forgets. So whose fault was all of this? Hers for letting them out and falling asleep. Hers for waking up late. Hers for not getting my wet food at 6:30 am like the Godmommy does. Yell at me? Don't think so! Freakin' Witch!
~Mashed Potato~

Absolut Confusion

I have no clue what is going on. One week, I am at the Godmommy's. The next, I am back here. The next, at the Godmommy's. Are they fighting over me? It truly is the only logical answer. Everybody wants me. And how could they not? I clearly put all of the other cats at the Godmommy's to shame--there is no contest. When I am there, they all bow to me. Even the humans have to stop and gaze upon me and touch the gloriousness that I am.

The Godmommy explained to the slave that I require a kitty of my own. Rumor has it that she is thinking about bringing in an even larger and fouler version of the weasels (a skunk? I am not totally sure what that is, but it needs to stop). I believe she is going to try and pass it off as another kitty. How stupid does she think I am? If she brings that thing into my home, that is it. I will not come back. It is bad enough that I am subjected to living with weasels--this skunk thing would be beyond what I am willing to tolerate. Uncle Jim clearly explained that I should not have to live with weasels--that I am better than that and belong with my own kind. Let her try to bring it home. We'll see what happens.
~Mashed Potato~