Scary Screaming & Scarier Spike

The slave was talking on the phone, when all of a sudden she went silently stalking across the livingroom, lifted up the beanbag chair and freaked out! She grabbed one of her brass goblets, threw it over something on the floor and hauled ass into the kitchen! She was throwing open all of the cupboards--cursing and mumbling--rooting around in a complete panic--I never saw anything like it!

I followed her back into the livingroom and watched her. She was messing around with the goblet and whimpering and making these strange "Ew, ew, ew" noises. All of a sudden something came jetting out from under the goblet and the slave started screaming like a girl! This scared me so badly that I ran and hid under the radiator! The slave has giant spiders that she feeds and she catches bees and all kinds of stuff and throws them out the window like it's no big deal... I've never seen her get so scared that she would scream and act crazy like that!

She went back out to the kitchen, so I inched my way over to the goblet to see what was trapped under it--I could feel my heart racing and the fur on the back of my neck tingling, I could hear whatever was under the goblet making strange noises... The slave came back in and yelled at me, just about giving me heart failure! She again began fiddling around with the goblet, I could tell that she was scared that it was going to get away again; I sat by for assistance (maybe... it depends on what was under there) but she has no faith in me--she always says that I'm not good at earning my keep.

After much fuss and whimpering, she got it into a container and began looking for stuff to feed it. She says that it is only the fourth one that she has ever seen and that it is a baby because it is only about an inch long--how she even saw it is beyond me; she always spots these things and then yells at me like I want bothered... Doesn't she realize that I am royalty, not some back-alley dumpster-diver that wants to act like an idiot chasing such things around? That is SO beneath me!

I guess she wants to take "Spike" to Penn State and see if they can identify it. She thinks that they are something traveling in from the flower shop downstairs because she has only ever seen those four while living near the flower shop and she hasn't been able to find them in any books or on the internet. Several years ago, one chased her and was gnashing it's fangs at her--I guess whatever they are, they are territorial and rather aggressive... She spotted the first one around ten years ago and she said it was around three to four inches long--that was when she lived in the little apartment down the hall (where I stayed when our apartment flooded).

Whatever they are, the slave is deathly afraid of them! She keeps jumping at shadows and freaking out like she thinks things are crawling on her... I know she's going to be up all night, watching, in a panic. It's about time that something gets under her skin and gives her the heebie-jeebies! I think I will wait until she is asleep and let my whiskers tickle her face so she thinks that there are Spikes crawling all over her...
~Mashed Potato~

P.S.--For the record, if I had seen that thing before she did, I don't know what I would have done--I guess that's why I put up with the slave. But I wish she would flush it down the toilet; that thing is hella creepy!